As a self proclaimed bookworm, I feel it is my duty to highlight the pitfalls of reading. Reading is great for you—for the most part. It exercises your brain, encourages you to think, gives you a sense of belonging, and makes you feel good. However, what if I told you reading could be dangerous? You might roll your eyes, but reading presents its own set of perils.
Whether it be an increased procrastination risk, or the odd tastes you develop in men, you read at your own risk!
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1) Sleep Deprivation
It’s one of the biggest lies you tell yourself: “I’ll just read one more chapter.” This lie is up there with “just one more episode” or “five more minutes.” You have good intentions, but inevitably something derails them. You read that last chapter, only for it to end in a cliffhanger. You read yet another chapter to have the cliffhanger resolved, only to find out your favourite character is going to be executed. As an experienced bookworm, you know what happens next. You read seven more chapters detailing preparations, the rescue, the rescue gone wrong, and the actual escape. There’s no way you can sleep while your crush—sorry, favourite character—is in such mortal peril.
If you do put the book down, sleep won’t follow. Instead, you’ll lie awake wondering what happens next. You’ll begin speculating, guessing at what could happen or who could die, and then you’ll pick up the book again because damn it, she better not kill off my honey!
If you’ve read any scientific articles on sleep, you’ll know that reading is supposed to aid sleep. Scrolling on your phone is bad for you, because it emits blue light which represses melatonin production. Reading, on the other hand, is supposed to relax your mind and promote good sleep hygiene. This reader calls bullshit. Those doctors who say reading helps sleep have obviously never lost themselves in an amazing novel.
The truth is that reading a great book is way worse for your shut eye quota than checking your Instagram, and we’ve all been there: that promise to read one more chapter results in us completing the book at three in the morning.
2) Obsession
While it depends on the type of novel you read, books can create intense emotions—particularly if you’re a teenage girl. While it’s most common for readers to be obsessed with their literary crushes, those who obsess over world building, creatures, or powers transition into what we call nerds.
These nerds also have specialized terms, depending on which fandom they belong to, such as “Potterhead” or “Twihard.” Though these labels can be given negative connotations, true members of such fandoms will proudly claim the labels for themselves, and boast of the encyclopedic knowledge they have of not only the world, but the author and her family (because that isn’t creepy at all).
Obsession within reason doesn’t have to be bad, but if you have anything with the “complete guide to” in its title, posters of supernatural men on your bedroom walls, and recreated props from the film, you might be obsessed. If you’ve blown forty dollars on a Niffler doll, then you’re really in trouble.
3) Empty Wallets
Remember that forty dollars you spent on a Niffler doll? This is just the merchandise side of the equation. The money you spend on books alone will be staggering. Forty dollars for a trilogy here and there doesn’t seem like a bad thing—until you realize you’ve bought ten trilogies in the past month. Once you do the math, it’s not hard to see why your always have less money than you thought. Books at a reasonable price, or books on sale, are the ultimate Achilles’ heel for bookworms.
What’s worse, you likely don’t even read half the books you buy. You want more; you have a TBR list with at least five hundred books to buy and fifty authors to check out, yet you already own two hundred books you haven’t touched since purchasing them. Some of the books you’ve neglected may have been sitting there for four years, and now you’ve lost interest in them (but at least they have pretty covers).
You’re in more danger of bankrupting yourself with your “habit” if you are a nerd. Potterheads are at risk of dropping fifty dollars on wands, purchasing guidebooks on fantastic beasts that don’t exist, and sacrificing a portion of their rent money to a stuffed Niffler.
4) Lack of Exercise
Reading can’t be completely to blame for one’s lack of exercise. After all, poor weather and being lazy in general can contribute. Of course, the latter raises a chicken and egg question: did the reading obsession come first, or the laziness? Did you fall in love with reading because you’re lazy, or are you lazy because you read all the time? It’s a question for the ages.
As always, you had good intentions. You were going to take a trek through your local park. You were going to bicycle for two laps in your neighbourhood. You were going to take your dog for a walk. Yet you made the mistake of opening your book first. You decided you would read one chapter, because your English teacher encouraged you to read for at least fifteen minutes a day, and that’s when you found out your favourite character was in danger of execution.
You settled in, and the dog stared at you with accusing eyes—he knows what happens next, because you’ve done this before. By the time your favourite character is rescued, it’s dark outside and that walk can wait until tomorrow anyways.
5) Increased Introversion
What came first—asocial tendencies, or books whose characters are better than actual people? It’s another of life’s mysteries only you can solve, dear reader. Raise your hand if this is you: someone invites you to a party, but you’ve just started a new series. The party will have music, friends, and booze, but all you can picture is yourself, wrapped in a blanket, sipping hot chocolate while you try to guess who’s going to end up with who in a love triangle.
Many bookworms are introverted. Shy bookworms are up there with shy writers; both love words, and both would rather hang out with imaginary people. After all, imaginary people dress better, talk better, and are unusually good looking. What’s more, even the jerks have hidden hearts of gold and redemption arcs, and their flaws, however great, don’t ruin your day.
Assholes in books can be strangely endearing. Assholes in real life…are just assholes. The most talented characters can fight, change into animals, or pick locks. These people know how to hot wire cars and defend their love interests from demons. In a word, fictional characters are cool.
You’ve been to enough parties to know that real people fall down, tell you personal details you didn’t need to hear, and laugh too loud. Real people walk into tables; real people yawn more than they share pithy lines; and real people can hurt you.
For introverts, reading offers a safe haven. Should you be socializing? Yes, it’s good for you! Are you going to? No, you’re not because your favourite character is in danger of being executed again.
6) Weird Fetishes
It’s embarrassing to admit, but books have shaped my taste in men. For all bookworms, this is a risk. For general fiction, you may have developed a taste for “bad boys.” For whatever reason, you’re attracted to men who are tall, muscular, and rude. These men are condescending, but good at everything. These men have tragic backstories, and you know their icy exterior can be melted with a look. These men make fun of people, especially the protagonist, and they show little remorse for any feelings hurt.
Jane Austen is responsible for starting this trope, in which a brooding man is redeemed, and grows into a better person, because of the protagonist’s love, but modern books have taken this to a new level.
Modern men aren’t just withdrawn or bitter—modern men have kinks, are stalkers, and belittle their love interest on a regular basis (even when they’re supposed to have reached the point where they’re “better”). One only needs to look at the success of Fifty Shades of Gray to know that our tastes have gone down the tubes.
Tastes in men only become weirder when you add fantasy into the mix. Vampires, werewolves, and fairies used to be terrifying entities who could literally kill you. Now, they’re people we want to sleep with. My own fetishes include sarcastic wizards, shirtless werewolf boys, and fairy throuples. Thanks for that last one, Cassandra Clare.
If you’re wondering why your taste in men (or women) is so screwed up, you need look no further than your bookshelf.
7) Procrastination
Let’s face it: we procrastinators will take any excuse to procrastinate. We have good intentions, but we’re, shall we say, “open” to distractions. When social media and television don’t make the cut, there are always those two hundred books you haven’t touched to fall back on. You’ve procrastinated reading those books, but now that you have homework to do or taxes to file, those neglected novels look strangely appealing.
To be fair, you may not have had intentions of procrastinating. You were going to file your taxes and do the dishes. You just thought you would read a couple chapters of your book in the morning, while you took your coffee, and oh my god, are they finally going to kiss? Damn, they almost kissed, but then someone interrupted and now they’re talking about breaking up? No, what is going on? I need to know!
The couple in your book has finally gotten together, but it’s eight at night and those taxes can wait until tomorrow.
Books are dangerous, because they ambush you. When you tell yourself you’re going to read one chapter, you mean it. Yet this is always the chapter where the first kiss almost happens, or where your literary crush is kidnapped by demons, and it becomes all too easy to justify delaying your responsibilities because you have to know what happens next.
In Conclusion
Books are promoted as wonderful. They’re good for your brain, they increase your critical thinking and creativity skills, and, according to doctors, they’re “good” for your sleep. However, as any bookworm will tell you, reading has a seedy underbelly. You can always have too much of a good thing, and reading is no exception.
Whether it be procrastination, asocial tendencies, bad sleep hygiene, or your sudden urge to marry a fairy, books can destroy your life. Reading is dangerous, and you have been warned.
What books ruined your life? Do you have any weird crushes you’d rather not admit to? Let me know in the comments.